


Just you

by restless_sleep



Category: BLACKPINK (Band)
Genre: F/F, Fluff and Angst, Self-Acceptance, happyending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-09
Updated: 2019-03-09
Packaged: 2019-11-14 10:15:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,490
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18050591
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/restless_sleep/pseuds/restless_sleep
Summary: One night Lisa finds Jisoo crying silently in her bedroom. Her eyes are red and puffy and her usual bright and her heart-shaped smile nowhere to be found.





	Just you

**Author's Note:**

> I apologize beforehand as it's been a while since last time I wrote something so I might be a bit rusty.

**i.**

The first time Lisa found Jisoo crying was during a winter night.

 

The youngest member of the group woke up in the wee hours of the morning. Her teeth chattered as she hugged the blanket closer to her chest in a futile attempt to keep the cold at bay. The sudden snowfall had made her bedroom feel way too cold and the top sheet and comforter weren't enough anymore.

 

Lisa groaned as she felt her way towards the living room, not wanting to turn the lights on in case any of the girls woke up. She squinted as her eyes readjusted to the dim moonlight that seeped through the curtains and bathed the room. Honestly, if she wasn't feeling so _damn_ cold and drained due to their previous day tight schedule she'd stop to admire the snowy landscape.

"There should be a blanket somewhere around here." Lisa muttered under her breath. Her hands hovering over the sofa, trying to find said object they had used just a few hours ago while watching a movie.

—

After a few minutes of seamless search her fingers grazed against a rather soft fabric. _About time,_ she thought, picking up the blanket in a swift movement, ready to rush back into her bedroom and bury herself under soft and warm layers of bedding. A soft sigh fell from her lips as fatigue started to take over her once again.

 

Before Lisa could get off the sofa, she spotted from her peripheral vision a faint tangerine light coming from Jisoo's bedroom.

 _Strange,_ Jisoo never left the door open. The blonde knew by now for a fact that the older girl sometimes stayed awake until late playing games on her laptop or phone and, Jisoo being Jisoo, didn't want to bother Chaeyoung—whose bedroom was right beside hers—with the light of the laptop screen (even if said girl had already told Jisoo thousands of times that the light didn't bother her at all).

 

Lisa decided to close the door of Jisoo's bedroom just because it was how she usually saw it and how Jisoo liked it. _Closed._

She sometimes wondered if Jisoo hid something from the rest but, then again, she was _Jisoo_. Bubbly, sweet and sometimes somewhat childish yet mature and responsible Jisoo. Lisa knew— _wanted to believe_ —that if something troubled the older girl she'd tell them. Or well, she'd tell Jennie, but soon or later Chaeyoung and Lisa would know as well.

_Ouch._

A burning feeling engulfed her chest. Lisa knew. She knew that Jisoo didn't really like talking about her problems and if she did talk about them, it was usually to Jennie. The blonde understood why. She really did. Both girls had been together since their trainee years, before Chaeyoung and Lisa tagged along.

Still, Lisa wished that Jisoo relayed more on the youngest members, _on her._

 

Jisoo had been her rock; her only constant when she first arrived in Korea. Back then, young and inexperienced Lalisa Manoban, whose Korean was far from perfect, found Jisoo. Jisoo, who had been there for her from the beginning. Jisoo, whose heart-shaped smile could light up a whole room. Jisoo, whose soft laugh could make your heart flutter and take your breath away. Jisoo, who was so flawless and yet so flawed.

Jisoo, Jisoo, Jisoo-

 

"Jisoo" The words escaped her lips as her hand dropped from the handle of the door. Lisa didn't mean to say the girl's name. She didn't mean to catch the girl's attention, but the sight displayed in front of her had taken her by surprise.

Lisa had expected to see Jisoo's angelic sleeping figure lying on the bed, a pink bunny plush held close to her. She had expected her heart to flutter upon seeing the black haired girl.

But,

Instead, she saw Jisoo's arms holding her legs close to her chest which was rising and falling at an irregular pace. Instead, her heart clenched.

 

Deep brown orbs fixed on Lisa's figure upon hearing her name being called. Jisoo's eyes were puffy and red and filled with pain and confusion and-

_Oh._

"Jisoo, I-"

"It's alright. I just had a nightmare, you should sleep. We have a lot of things to do tomorrow." Jisoo cut in before Lisa could finish her sentence. Her voice was weak and quavering but still warm as if she hadn't been-

"Just a nightmare." Jisoo offered Lisa a weak, pained smile, but a smile nonetheless.

 

Before Lisa could react, Jisoo had already closed the door, locking her out (in a metaphorical and literal way).

Lisa could have tried, she really could have tried to knock on the door and ask Jisoo to open it. She could have _begged_ Jisoo to let her in, she could have woken up Jennie and ask her to help their friend, she could have spent the entire night in front of the door until she opened it.

 

But she didn't.

 

Lisa turned around and silently headed back to her own bedroom. Her chest heavy with guilt and turmoil.

"She was crying." Lisa muttered as she lay down on her bed.

_She was crying and I left her alone._

The blanket she had gone to get was resting on one end of the bed, long-forgotten. She wasn't freezing to death anymore. In fact, her skin seemed to burn and the duvet was asphyxiating her and suddenly everything was too hot and cold at the same time.

 

 

That night Lisa couldn't fall asleep again.

 

* * *

 

**ii.**

The second time Lisa found Jisoo crying was after a dance practice.

 

They didn't talk about it.

Jisoo was avoiding the topic like the plague (thankfully she wasn't avoiding Lisa as well). Every time the blonde tried to bring it up, the older girl changed the topic. It didn't matter how Lisa tried to approach the matter, Jisoo would always find a way to evade it.

 

"Jisoo, it's time to go home." Jennie said as she packed her belongings in her sport bag. They all had been working really hard lately for an upcoming event, especially Jisoo. Said black-haired girl seemed to struggle with certain parts of the choreography (unlike Lisa, who had mastered the steps in less than a week) and usually stayed back to practice on her own until her legs felt wobbly and exhaustion took over her.

 

Her friends weren't fine at all with these extended practices _. 'It's bad for your health, unnie', 'You shouldn't overwork yourself, Jisoo',_ they said to no avail. Jisoo wouldn't listen.

 

"I'll stay a little longer. I'll be home before dinnertime." Jisoo was still focused on her reflection on the huge mirror panels that covered one of the walls of the room. On her forehead glistened a few beads of sweat and her breathing was ragged. _Knowing her, she won't be taking a break anytime soon although she's almost out of breath._

 

"Jisoo" Jennie began before getting cut off by Lisa, who rose from the spot she had been sitting on while waiting for the rest.

"Then I'm staying as well." The words left Lisa's lips before she could think it thoroughly. "I'll take good care of Jisoo, I promise. I'll bring her back home in one piece." She reassured cheerily—trying to dissipate the sudden tense atmosphere—upon noticing Jennie's concerned expression and Chaeyoung's mildly confused one.

Jennie opened her mouth to say something but only a long sigh left it after a few seconds. She shook her head in defeat and signalled at Chaeyoung to follow her. "Don't overwork yourself, please." Jennie's voice was soft and filled with concern. _Of course she is worried, she's Jisoo's bes_ _t friend._

—

As Rosé closed the door after they left the room, Lisa turned around to properly face Jisoo. The older girl seemed exhausted but somehow was still managing to stand up. Her hair was a mess and her workout clothes were completely wrinkled, but she was still looking gorgeous. _No wonder she's the visual of our group,_ Lisa thought. Of course they were all pretty but Jisoo...she was simply mesmerising.

 

"Lisa" The blonde's head perked up upon hearing her name. Dark brown eyes met chocolate ones for a split second as Jisoo stood there immobile, staring at Lisa with that intense gaze of hers that sent shivers down the younger's back. "Lisa, what do you think when you look at me?" The question caught the blonde off ward, making her inhale sharply.

Many words ran through her head in a messy whirlwind. Whenever she looked at Jisoo she thought of well, of Jisoo (duh, _of course_ ). Jisoo, who was soft, sweet, gentle, playful, caring, loving, intelligent-

"Beautiful." Lisa blurted out, _and many more things_ , she wanted to say but didn't say. Her gaze travelled southwards in an attempt to avoid Jisoo's eyes as she waited for the shorter girl to say something.

But she didn't say anything.

 

Silence engulfed them. The blonde wasn't of the shy kind, at least not around her band mates _._ In fact, she was the embodiment of confidence and cheerfulness, but somehow; for some reason, those traits of hers disappeared as the word _beautiful_ left her lips. Lisa then lifted her gaze as the silence was broken by light steps matching the rhythm of one of their songs. Jisoo had turned around and was dancing along the music as if she hadn't asked anything, _as if she didn't care about what Lisa replied._

 

Lisa's eyes fixed on the mirror, searching for Jisoo's, seeking for an answer in them, a hint, _anything_ that would give away what had made Jisoo want to ask her that in that moment.

 

 _Oh,_ could it be-

 

Their gazes clashed once again and Jisoo's eyes flicked away avoiding Lisa's. Was it her, or the air had gotten thicker? making it for Lisa harder to breathe.

She cleared her throat.

 

"Jisoo, you've been working really, really hard today, don't you think it's time to go home?" Lisa's voice was soft, warm and her usual goofiness was replaced by the concern she was feeling for her friend. She could see how Jisoo's movements were becoming less precise and how her eyelids were drooping due to the fatigue. "Jisoo..." Her brow furrowed when she heard the older girl mutter under her breath something that sounded like ' _Not enough.'_ Lisa was about to try again and, if it was necessary, she'd drag Jisoo to the dorm.

 

Before she could do or say anything, her eyes followed Jisoo's limp figure collapse on the floor. The black-haired girl was breathing heavily as she clutched her legs close to her torso.

Lisa felt as if the air had left her lungs all at once and she found herself silently screaming Jisoo's name. The blonde rushed to the girl's side and in a swift movement she knelt beside her, resting Jisoo's head on her lap. She was still hugging her legs and her beautiful eyes were brimmed with tears. Lisa's trembling hands cupped Jisoo's cheeks gently as if the girl lying on the floor would break under her touch at any second.

Jisoo looked so fragile, so small, _so not like the Jisoo she knew_.

—

Silence fell upon them and Lisa started to run her fingers through Jisoo's tangled and messy hair. "Sing me something, please?" Jisoo's request was acknowledged by the younger girl who simply nodded and started humming.

"..."

"Lisa. Lisa, are you serious?" Jisoo's reddened eyes squinted as a soft, amused smile tugged at the corner of her lips. Lisa's heart did a small back-flip when she heard Jisoo's weak laugh. Maybe singing _Baby Shark_ hadn't been a bad idea after all. Lisa had missed the older girl's laugh.

It wasn't like she hadn't heard her laugh in the past weeks. In fact, Jisoo was the kind of girl who would always laugh and smile whenever they had to appear in any interview or show (which was quite often lately), but the girl's laugh had seemed kind of forced those past days. It wasn't the usual lighthearted, infectious laugh of hers.

 

The blonde was pulled out of her reverie when soft, warm fingers grazed her cheekbone.

 

"It's late. We should head home." were the words that left Jisoo's lips as a mere whisper after several minutes. If the older hadn't just broken down in front of her, Lisa would have liked to hold those slender fingers against her cheek, allowing herself to drown in Jisoo's warmth.

"True, Jennie's going to murder me if we don't." Jisoo removed her head from Lisa's lap to allow the latter rise from her spot on the floor (Lisa immediately missed the contact).

 

Their gazes met for the third time that evening and for the first time, neither Lisa nor Jisoo looked away. Instead, Lisa's met by a warm smile full of adoration and something she couldn't figure out _(yet)_. Lisa's heart fluttered and her cheeks reddened ever so slightly.

"Piggyback ride?" Jisoo's arms were extended, reaching for Lisa's sweatshirt. "Piggyback ride." Lisa replied, earning another lighthearted chuckle from the girl that was still sitting on the floor.

 _Right,_ at the end of the day they were still Jisoo and Lisa.

 

 

That evening Lisa wondered how far she'd go to make Jisoo happy and the answer was immediate. Without hesitation or second thoughts, she knew she'd do about anything and go to any lengths to make the girl sleeping on her back happy. _If only she knew how amazing she is._

 

* * *

 

**iii.**

Jisoo had allowed herself to be vulnerable in front of Lisa. She had literally broken down in front of the blonde, something she had _never_ done.

Lisa knew that the next step consisted in getting the black-haired girl to open up to her (and maybe let the other members know about what was troubling her too). But the following days after the incident had been rather hectic so Lisa couldn't find time to talk to Jisoo calmly.

The event where they had to make an appearance was a success. Their performance had been on point and the show went smoothly. The girls were satisfied with their gig, even Jisoo had seemed to forget about her inner demons and as a reward for their hard work and good outcome, the company gave them the weekend off to rest.

 

That brought them to their current situation. The figure of four young women at a deserted beach could be spotted from the distance. Jennie, Chaeyoung, Lisa and Jisoo had decided to spend that Saturday evening at _Daechon Beach_. It didn't matter the fact that it was winter and it was _really_ cold and that maybe going to the beach wasn't the most sensible idea. All of them had been looking forward to some time to be only them. No YG, no fans, no nothing. Only them and the infinite vastness of the ocean.

Because honestly, who in their common senses would be at the beach in the middle of December?

 

Lisa spotted from her peripheral vision Jennie and Chaeyoung walking side by side, hugging their thick coats closer to their bodies in an attempt to avoid the chilly air from seeping through. Nevertheless, bright smiles graced their features as they chatted excitedly. _They deserved this break,_ Lisa thought before turning around, searching with her eyes for certain black-haired girl.

"Looking for me?" Lisa swore her heart stopped for a full second upon hearing Jisoo's voice so _damn_ close to her ear. A light blush crept into her cheeks as the shorter girl chuckled. The blonde simply pouted. _Damned feelings_.

 

"Jisoo, we have to-"

"I know." _Of course she knows. She's known since the day I found out._

_Jisoo has just been delaying the inevitable._

 

Jisoo sat down on the sand and patted the spot beside her for Lisa to sit as well. The gentle smile that graced her lips faded and was replaced by a half-hearted one. It was obvious she didn't know how to begin this conversation. Jisoo opened her mouth and closed it a second after, biting her lower lip afterwards. A frustrated sigh escaped the older's lips and Lisa decided then to let the girl take her time to open up. After all, they had the whole evening (and night if it was needed).

 

"It's hard." were the only hesitant words that left Jisoo's lips after a few minutes. The girl's gaze fixed on the sea that spread out in front of them.

And Lisa understood. She understood what Jisoo meant with those two words. In truth, the blonde had been having her suspicions.

She saw the way Jisoo sometimes struggled.

 

"I don't sing as well as Chaeyoung, I can't rap like Jennie or dance half as well as you" she began, her gaze never drifting away from the sea. "I sometimes feel like a burden. I sometimes think you could do fine if not better without me. I sometimes feel as if I'm just here because of my pretty face. And I don't want be be just another _pretty face._ " Jisoo took a deep breath "Those thoughts sometimes haunt me and I don't want to talk about it because I'm the older and I shouldn't worry you with my own problems because I know you all already deal with your own issues and-" The words died in her throat. A strangled, ugly sob escaped her lips and Lisa's eyes instantly searched for the other two girls. _Thank God,_ Lisa sighed relieved upon noticing that Jennie and Chaeyoung were rather far away, oblivious to Jisoo's current state.

Lisa knew how much Jisoo would hate being seen crying.

 

"It's just hard and I'm sorry you've had to see me like this."

"Jisoo, it doesn't matter if you're older, it doesn't matter if we're all dealing with our own problems. You can always talk to us if something's bothering you. You don't have to be always strong for us." _You don't have to always be so selfless._ "I wish you relayed more on us _,_ Jisoo. I know that it's something hard for you but please, _please_ , you have to try. You've been worrying me these past weeks and I felt so damn hopeless because you wouldn't tell me what was wrong. Plus, I'm sure Jennie and Chaeyoung would be worried as well if they knew." Lisa frowned and wrapped her arms around the shorter girl as big, fat tears rolled down Jisoo's pale cheeks. "Right, sorry. I just sometimes forget." was her simple, choked reply.

 

Jisoo let herself bask in the warmth of the taller girl as the latter wiped the tears from her face. "Besides, you're just as good as us. _Blackpink_ wouldn't be _Blackpink_ without you." Lisa's words seemed to struck Jisoo, who simply looked at her with those big, brown eyes of hers. "Don't ever dare to think you don't deserve what you have; where you are, because you do." The blonde had never been the best with words but what she said seemed to be enough as Jisoo had stopped crying and was listening to Lisa carefully.

She looked _happier_ , as if a weight had been lifted off her shoulders.

 

"Since when is our Lisa so good at comforting?" It was Jisoo's turn to try to lift the mood by teasing Lisa. The older only earned a playful punch on the arm as both burst into a fit of laughter. It wasn't _that_ funny, but both girls were laughing their hearts off just because they could.

_Finally._

—

The sky was suddenly soaked in vibrant hues of red and orange and it didn't matter at all that they were freezing to death. Lisa's nose and ears were red and she couldn't feel the tips of her fingers, but the lighthearted laugh of Jisoo made it worth it. _She always makes everything worth it._ The black-haired girl looked so beautiful, _so ethereal_ under the last rays of sun. Lisa wanted to scream at the nothingness how perfectly imperfect this girl was.

 

"You'll bore holes through the sun at this rate, _unnie."_ The blonde stated teasingly, looking at her entranced her friend who had been staring at the sunset for the past three minutes.

"But, don't you find it beautiful?" Jisoo then asked. A long, dreamy sigh escaping her lips. Her eyes still following the slow movement of the Sun that was disappearing in the horizon, drawing beautiful orange patters on the surface of the sea.

"Yes, it's beautiful."

Lisa's gaze never left Jisoo's figure. Her heart was beating crazy fast and her head was spinning and she swore she had never felt so alive.

 

"I think I love sunsets." Jisoo said after a while and Lisa was about to reply that yes, she loved them as well.

But instead, her heart clashed with her mind and the words that left her lips weren't the ones she intended to say.

 

"I think I love you."

 

_Oh._

_Oh no-_

 

Lisa bit the inside of her cheek and winced silently. One, two, three... A minute had gone by and Jisoo hadn't replied yet. Ah well, maybe she hadn't heard her.

 _Who are you trying to fool, Manoban? Of course she heard you,_ she scolded herself mentally. In that moment, the blonde just wanted the ground to open up and swallow her. _Your friend has just opened up to you and you literally confess to her?_ Lisa wanted to laugh it off, maybe apologise and just tell Jisoo that she was joking. But no, the words wouldn't come out of her mouth, as if it had been sealed.

 

Of course Jisoo wasn't going to laugh at her or walk away. She wasn't that kind of person. The black-haired girl would probably turn her confession down politely and maybe, probably, offer her one of those beautiful smiles of hers that sent her heart into an overdrive without permission.

 

"You _think_?" Jisoo asked after what felt like an eternity to Lisa. The Sun had already disappeared in the far distance by then and the warm sunlight was replaced by the vibrant lights of the city that rose behind them. Jisoo turned to look properly at Lisa, who had her eyes still fixed on the frame of the shorter girl. It was somewhat hard to make out the older's expression as the streetlights were way too far from them to illuminate their faces. Nevertheless, Lisa could spot a subtle blush spreading across Jisoo's features. "Think? You think?" The black-haired girl repeated. Lisa's eyes travelled southwards, moving from Jisoo's cheeks to her heart-shaped lips.

Big mistake.

 

"I know..." Lisa said absentmindedly, still gazing at those tantalizing, rosy lips. She hadn't noticed how close she was to Jisoo until now. Their faces mere inches apart.

"Oh, so you _know_ you love me?" Jisoo's words were hesitant yet hinted with an edge of tease. Lisa swallowed dryly when she felt warm hands wrapping around her neck slowly.

 

All felt so surreal. She went from reassuring and comforting Jisoo to confessing her attraction in a span of a few hours. The blonde had mixed feelings about her current situation. Was she taking advantage of Jisoo? Maybe the latter was simply blinded at the moment after exposing herself bare. It felt so wrong yet so _fucking_ right at the same time.

 

"Jisoo." She breathed out her name, softy. Gentle hands cupping now her cheeks; slender fingers brushing away loose strands of blond hair. Her eyes shoot upwards to meet the shorter girl's ones and all the hesitation she might have been feeling disappeared. Warm, brown eyes were gazing into hers, filled with so much devotion and love that could flood an entire city.

 _Love,_ how could she have been so blind until now? Jisoo had been in love with Lisa as well and the blonde hadn't realised. All those furtive glances and longing gazes; all those shy smiles and soft giggles. That day at the studio...the way Jisoo had been looking at her... _Gosh_ , Lisa had been so oblivious.

 

"Lisa." Jisoo's breath ghosted over the younger's lips and before Lisa could do anything, a pair of soft lips were on hers. It took her a few minutes to process what was going on but soon afterwards she kissed Jisoo back, wrapping her arms around the petite frame of the other girl, pulling her impossibly closer. The kiss was gentle and soft and simply all Lisa had dreamed of. Jisoo's flowery fragrance was intoxicating and her touch was making her feel dizzy and-

And suddenly she was drowning in Jisoo's love.

 

After some time, both girls pulled away, feeling breathless. Lisa's cheeks were dusted with a dark shade of pink and her heart was beating really loudly in her chest but she couldn't stop smiling like an idiot.

 

"Finally we're on the same page." Lisa was the first to break the silence. Her cheeks were coated as well with a deep blush but an adorable smile was also gracing her lips.

Jisoo laughed heartily and Lisa felt as if she was falling in love all over again.

" I think we've been for a while, we just were in different lines." Jisoo winked and rested her forehead against Lisa's, feeling the other girl shake with laughter. "Sweet talker." The blonde cooed, giving Jisoo an Eskimo Kiss. She gazed into the shorter's eyes and noticed the glimpse of uncertainty and hesitance that still danced in the older's brown orbs.

Lisa's heart clenched and she tightened her grip on Jisoo's waist. _You're enough, you're more than enough, Jisoo._

—

"So, does this mean..." Lisa's eyes were filled with hope as she waited for a confirmation which came soon after as a simple nod and a ' _yes'._

The blonde felt as a highs school girl whose crush had just acknowledged their existence. She felt like jumping and running or simply screaming because gosh, she was so _damn_ lucky.

"You're so amazing, Jisoo." Lisa laced their fingers, too overwhelmed to do anything else.

"I'm far from perfect, Lisa."Jisoo's reply was hesitant and the blonde was fast to notice the former's furrowed brow.

_Gosh, if only you saw yourself through my eyes._

 

"True, you're not perfect." Her answer seemed to have startled the older, as if it wasn't something she had expected. "No one is perfect. I am not, Jennie's not, Chaeyoung's not. " She could sense Jisoo getting ready to reply. "But you don't need to be perfect, you just need to be you." Lisa concluded, not giving time to Jisoo to cut in.

The eldest's expression morphed from one of confusion and self-doubt to one of adoration. "I love you the way you are." Lisa added, smiling softly.

 

Jisoo choked back tears. She wondered how she got so lucky.

 

 

That night Lisa sat under the starry night sky with Jisoo by her side. Her heart was soaring as she held the shorter girl's hand in hers. And Lisa thought that no, Jisoo was definitely not just a pretty face.

_Jisoo was so much more._

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> In the end I didn't focus that much on their romance. I didn't want to explicitly say that Lisa harboured feelings for Jisoo and merely tried to show it through her reactions and thoughts until the very end of the story. And for Jisoo, well, Lisa thinks a few times about the way the former looks at her but can't decipher the feeling that's hinted in them until the end.
> 
> Gosh, it's been a while since last time I wrote something so I hope this piece isn't that bad. I'm not that proud of the outcome but I guess I just need to keep practising.
> 
> Thank you for reading!


End file.
